The physical make up of your average Britain has changed considerably over recent years. These days it isn’t possible to accurately mock a British person just by goofing your teeth out and talking in a gay-posh kind of accent.

Take recently released Death Row prisoner, Mirza Tahir Hussain (that might give you a clue) as an example, by studying the picture of him below:

As you can see, here we have a typical British man whose appearance suggests some kind of cross between a wolf and Michael Jackson. Notice how the teeth seem to be reasonably white, though.

Of course, it isn’t just British men whose physical credentials have changed in recent times. Fearing another whiney suffragette movement, women have also been allowed to physically evolve into another form.

Meet Susan Smith, a typical example of your average female Brit. As you can see, most of the face has been sacrificed for a sleeker, smoother look and comes with the added advantage of covering up any dental discrepancies that once marred the complexion of most British people.

Here is a recent picture of the British Royal Family. Sporting the diluted lime green ensemble is the man herself, Queen Betty. Accompanying her in this picture are the rest of the Royal Family, who due to their status were allowed to enter the country in a clean, spacious articulated lorry, as opposed to a filthy, cramped one.

Naturally, even with the rapid evolution that’s taking place on this island, education is still considered the most important aspect of our society. Here we see some young British lads learning the main language of this country, Arabic. After they’ve gotten to grips with it they will begin studying the second most used language in this country: Polish.

Yes, England is a country rich in evolutionary diversity. Whilst half of the population has evolved into slightly darker, more covered up people, the other half has evolved into what used to be called Poland.

This step towards ascension can be credited to everyone’s pal, the European Union. Thanks to the EU, England now enjoys a substantial and ever growing population of Eastern European type British people. These hybrid Brit-Poles often travel in large packs. In the picture above we can see a small number of them worshipping their God, Job-Board.

And here we see a small number of them protesting with signs written in Britain’s second language. You might be wondering why these Brits aren’t busy working. The truth is they don’t have to work because their accommodation, food, clothing, mobile phones, cars and children are all paid for by the dwindling numbers of thoroughbred Brits (the ones with the dodgy teeth and gay accents).

 Thanks to our hybrid population, city centres are brought alive with all the colours of our super-race complaining and protesting about the country they took so much trouble to illegally enter and rape.

Croc Hunter Becomes Dead

Crocodile enthusiast, Steve Irwin, met his end today after receiving a fatal blow from a fish.

The attack took place in Kangaroo's Bar, a local drinking establishment in North Australia. Media reports say Irwin died from a fatal blow to the head, suffered during a fight with a fish.

Eye witnesses say Irwin had put up a good fight against the cod, but seemed to lack the stamina to finish the job. It is also believed that Irwin and Fish had earlier been involved in an argument over a parking space, before entering the bar. At the time of the fight, both had consumed a large amount of alcohol.

"At one point I thought he [Irwin] was going to take him, but the fish landed this cracking punch and he went down."

"The fish was totally out of order...he'd drunk way too much and was getting agitated. He should have been removed from the pub before he killed Irwin."

"It's a tragedy for all of his fans around the world...at least his children are safer now."

"There was bad blood between those two all night. They'd already had an argument in the car park before they started drinking. Irwin shouldn't have flirted with the fish's wife...but he didn't deserve to be killed."

Queensland Police Authorities have charged Fish, 38, with murder. Fish has already served time in jail after attempting to kill a man who asked Fish's wife, Helen, for the time.

Cartoon Women I Would or Wouldn't Do

Let's get something straight here.  You see Wilma over there?  Well she isn't in the slightest bit attractive to me.  I don't like her black eyeballs and I'm not keen on her hair style and colour.  I also don't like the fact she hasn't got any breasts, and I'm not even convinced she'd be any good in the bedroom department if-you-know-what-I-mean.  After all, who likes sleeping in a room that hasn't been dusted for over a week?  Fred Flintstone, you are a first class twat and I hate your stupid wife.

But if you think Wilma's bad - and she is - then what about the mother of all bastards, Velma? 

As you know, Velma is the ugly jerk on the right.  Look at the stupid expression on her ridiculous face.  Her glasses annoy me more than anything else.  Except for maybe her freckles and frumpy frame.  And what is up with that stupid top she's wearing?  Probably wears it to cover up her saggy tits, I would imagine.

As for Daphne on the right of her, well she's OK but I don't think she'd be slutty enough to bother having sex with.  Then again, I think she may have gained some carnal experience with the blonde headed twat who drives the Mystery Machine.  Something tells me that girl isn't a virgin.  Something else tells me she may have also caught an STD from Shaggy's hair.

Luckily all is not lost.  More modern animated fems know that in order to be popular with registered sex offenders guys like me, it is necessary to slut it up a bit.  Take Lois for example, pictured below on the left.  Sure, she may have a really large head and possibly a fat arse, but she's definitely up for recreating love in an unusually grotesque physical form.  She even looks like a woman of experience, which means she'll know all the right things to say when she discovers any "inadequacies".

Amy Wong on the left, despite not having the experience of Lois, is still most definitely a slut, and boasts having the sexier physique of the two.  Oh yeah, you could have a good time with either.  Unless Lois' ginger pubes put you off.  Which is fair enough...

For the ultimate in slutty women cartoon characters, Miss Krabappel on the left wins it hands down.  I would advise that you only approach her if Lois or Amy Wong are unavailable.  She's not exactly attractive, and I'm not sure I would trust her personal hygiene.  Also something tells me she just wouldn't be that good, despite being that easy.  I don't know, I guess she reminds me a lot of my mother.

I think this one speaks for itself.  Wow I'm hot right now...

Rough Women on TV I've Found Attractive

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