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Recently motivated terrorist group, Hezbollah, have declared today that they posses a weapon of mass destruction and are planning on using it against the Israelis.
Chief executive of Hezbollah, Ahmed Shimmy-Shaky McArthur, made the following statement moments after an Israeil airstrike blew up his nan's house.
"Me no speaky English".
However, the information regarding the WMD was leaked by the terrorist organisation's janitor, who wished to remain anonymous for safety of his life.
"Israel thinks she will root out and kill Hezbollah, but we have a giant weapon capable of thwarting any further Israeli advance...when they start retreating, that's when we'll destroy them. Some of our guys can throw pretty big stones." - Ali-Waheed, Hezbollah's janitor.
Hours later an official statement was made by Hezbollah, admitting to owning a weapon of mass destruction, but stressing it would only be used for defence purposes.
"Think of this weapon as something that will defend against a wicked force, although not necessarily harming it. We will of course be harming it though." - Andrew Fairweather, Hezbollah's Human Resources secretary.
The weapon is believed to be a highly sophisticated deterrent, with most of its design being directly copied from Roseanne Barr's DNA. Satellite images taken today appear to show that Hezbollah do indeed possess a weapon capable of stopping Israel advancing any further.
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| | Posted 8/6/2006 8:07 AM - 2 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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